This page is to help future potential crew understand what the word crew means, what is expected of you if you join this team for a while. It amazes me, how many new crew I get from professional crewing websites, who have zero idea about what to expect from this experience. They act more like passengers on a free holiday. Crewing is a job to help the Captain, so be helpful.

If I am inviting you to crew for me… let us be on the same page as to what that means.

I am a professional sailing instructor, a professional ocean going blue water sailing Captain with a lot of experience under my belt. I know my shit… I am very good at what I do… you need to trust me.

If you are a novice baby crew (novice crew are ignorant and helpless as a baby, thus the term) I have taken onboard, and I have agreed to train you, be a good student, try to learn please. If I am giving you this amazing opportunity to learn from the best, and for free, please come with an attitude of being a good student going to school with the intention of succeeding.

Be grateful for the amazing opportunity you are being given.

Captain Lexi’s sailing school is a privilege for you, respect it

Some people are so stupid and have such hard clay brains they have been unteachable, it is frustrating for me. Please do not be a waste of my time, if I decide to gamble on you please do your best, give 100% for your new team.

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It surprises me that these things need to be said, but it seems apparent they do need to be said. I have literally had crew onboard who violated almost everything in this list, I speak from experience here.

So here we go…. for anyone who is ever thinking about coming out into the ocean to crew on any yacht ever….

SUBMIT to the captain… if there are two competing versions of reality on the boat swallow yours. If the captain thinks the sail needs to be reefed… submit and follow… you don’t even have an opinion here so don’t offer it unless asked. Just as you can do whatever you want with your car… so too the captain can do whatever they want with their boat, right or wrong. The captain leads everyone else follows, very basic. A ship can only have 1 captain.

Do not fight me for power or control

I promise you… you will lose

hard and fast

Do Not EVER Argue with the captain… you don’t have to agree with everything the captain thinks says or does… but it’s their boat… and unless they are endangering your life or being extreme… just let your version of reality slip to the side… there is a time place and polite way to address anything you might think needs to be spoken about later.

Listen and follow… the worst crew are always those that try to lead from behind… play weird little games to get control over the captain and the boat… don’t tell the captain where to go or when or how to get there unless they ask you for your vote. Do not try to change the way things run on the yacht. If the Captain asks you to do something just do it.

Crew’s job is to follow the Captain… so follow.

DO NOT EVER give commands to the Captain… this amazes me that I have to say it, but crew does not command the captain or lay down the law with the captain. You do not come onto someone else’s boat and tell them how it’s gonna be. I get this so often… when crew TELL ME stuff like… we are going hiking tomorrow..! Like a statement of fact they have decided all on their own. Wrong way to phrase it, and I will correct you hard immediately if you speak to me like this. Ask… don’t command me… anything… ever..!

I give the Commands here

Not you

Try to be helpful… a lot of people view this crewing thing as a free ride… a free vacation… people pay $5000- $10,000 dollars a week to charter a yacht for this same experience. Your time on the boat is not “free” even if there is no money exchanging hands. CREW is a job to help the captain and the yacht… you are there to be helpful… so have an attitude of how can I help you Captain… how can I be part of the team? You can literally say.. “is there anything I can do to help captain?“.

You should have an attitude of helpfulness.

The Captain decides how they need you to be helpful, not you. The Captain sees the big picture, knows what needs to be done, knows how all the pieces fit together even if you don’t see it. The captain is the decider of what they need help with… not you. I am so complex in my mind weighing so many unseen unknown variables into my very complicated decision making process it is unfathomable to you. I am considering hundreds of variables you have no idea about. Do not come onto a boat with a list of decrees of… “I will do this and not do that“.

You do not decide what help is needed, the Captain does.

Be polite… just make effort to be kind… try to chose your words nicely, try not to hurl insults to get your way like a child throwing a fit. I am shocked when I get crew who are mean spirited when they don’t get what they want or get things their way. That sneaky underhanded shit might work in dirt life, but out here, on the ocean with me, I promise you this behaviour will go badly for you fast. Bite your tongue if you feel the impulse to be vicious to me or snark at me.

Be forgiving… maybe you will perceive things in a bad way… but before you flip out and react, extend patience love and forgiveness to the other person… assume a good explanation before you jump to a bad one. I get that there are a lot of bad and idiot “Captains” out there… but it doesn’t matter… it’s their boat. If the captain says something mean or stupid reacting to it will not make things better… try forgiveness first. In my case I probably innocently have no idea my words could be misinterpreted in a bad way, I never intend harm. Sometimes my She-Sheldon social ignorance gets in my way, forgive me please.

Be flexible… understand you are entering someone else’s world… if they like the dishes done right after the meal then don’t argue just do it the captains way. The Captain does not have to flex… you the crew do.

Be a respectful house guest… understand you are in someone else’s home…. right or wrong it’s not your job to fix or change the captain. Never go onto someone else’s boat and begin rearranging their stuff and reorganizing their shit no matter how messy or slobby they are. Conversely do not go into a clean boat and make a mess and be a slob. I am a rather neat and tidy girl and when crew are slobs it really makes my life hard. I am not your mom, don’t expect me to clean up after you.

On WildChild, you are expected to be tidy

Shared food… if you want to chip into the food kitty to help pay for the food… you are also agreeing to help make prepare carry and clean up the food. Standard is $20usd per day. Alternating cooking days is normal and expected. You have to help carry your fair share equally. Don’t be a burden on me like a passenger, be an asset not a liability. Understand that I have a lot of things on my to-do list that keeps me far busier than you, maybe you can carry a larger share of the cooking or cleaning since you probably cannot be much help repairing the yacht.

- Most of the time… crew just do their own thing for food, we make separate meals. Almost every crew says they are not fussy, but they are, and just don’t know it. Strangers seldom have the same diet. I will let you provision and buy your own food and I will give you a place to store it.

I am very flexible about food arrangements

but understand I am very poor

do NOT be a financial drain on me please

RESPECT water and energy on a yacht. You are not on land anymore with unlimited access to these things. Sailboats are very careful about these things. Water is precious… every drop. Electricity has to be created… every electron… gas for the stove can be hard to find and of limited supply. Sailors can be super sensitive about these things…. you need to be too. Violating this rule will definitely get under a Captain’s skin fast… WildChild is delicately balanced to be off the grid, seldom needs to run a generator but we have to be careful about consumption of everything.

There is only one way on a yacht… and its the Captain’s way. If the Captain wants the ropes coiled with a right hand twist say yes Ma’am… if she wants a left hand twist say no problem. Sailboats are very complicated things with many moving parts. The Captain probably does things for a reason… two years ago that broke because… so now I always… to protect it… If you are curious you can ask, you might be surprised at the answer. We do almost everything for a reason, even if you cannot see it or do not understand it.

Swallow it… I get it… we are all human… we all have ups and downs… we all know this… but if you are having a bad day try to keep it under control. A sailboat is a very small place we have no space from each other. If you are in a pissy mood and feel like yelling at people… swallow it… just shut the fuck up… go in your room and read a book or watch a movie on your tablet until it passes. Just try to focus on the sunshine tomorrow and get past the darkness today.

When crew lose self control I will command you

Swallow it…!

it means SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW..!

End of story

I am trying to help you stop making things worse. I understand how you are feeling. I am on your team, BUT right now you are making things worse, hurting your team. If you keep talking you are making things worse, being destructive, or committing mutiny fighting me for control, and about to get kicked out. I am trying to help you, I am begging you, please do not proceed, do not say another word, it’s all bad ground if you continue. Your mood swing will pass if you let it.

The Yacht comes first

Your feelings come later

Do not be selfish. The world no longer revolves around you no matter what your mommy told you. The world now revolves around the needs of the yacht and the safety of the yacht and crew, even the captain answers to this. The captain should never have to end a sentence with “if it pleases your royal highness“.

Adrenaline and fear… we all handle it differently… but if you do not react well under stress… DO NOT CREW… I tell people all the time I can teach you to sail but I cannot teach you to be tough or brave… and you need to be both to be on a sailboat. This especially includes emotionally tough, suck it up buttercup and take it like a man. I have found that about 50% of crew will not function well when the shit hits the fan and the adrenaline is flowing. They will shut down and narrow focus and stop listening. These people are highly dangerous out here, a danger to me, to my yacht, and to themselves.

If you know you do not handle fear well

do not come crew for me please

you are very dangerous out here

***

If these things become unbearable on a boat, like begin making you extremely unhappy, you always have the choice to leave the boat. You are not forced to be crew you are choosing it, you can un-chose it, lots of crew do all the time.

Remember the Captain can also un-chose you too.

Sometimes I have to literally look my crew in the eyes and command them… “submit” when they are fighting against me. Or I have to say “swallow it” when their feelings are hurt and they want to throw a fit.

I do not want to have to yell at you…

so don’t make me have to yell at you…

listen and follow… try to be part of the team. Mistakes will always be forgiven for crew with a good attitude. You will make many mistakes, its human and normal, when you keep repeating the same mistakes it becomes a problem because you are not listening. Bad attitude will get you quickly removed from the vessel.

This is by no means an exhaustive list but it surprises me I have to tell people to be polite and respectful when they come on my boat, into my home.

Common sense is no longer common anymore huh

🙁

***

Crewing on WildChild…

Also please understand WildChild’s journey is very public, this adventure is being filmed and blogged about, openly. There is a YouTube channel sharing this adventure with the world. If you come join this boat you are consenting to being filmed and written about as part of this adventure. You do not get to come crew for me and then place the condition that you refuse to be filmed or want to control what I write about you in my blogs, it does not work that way.

If you don’t want me to write bad things about you, don’t do or say… stupid or bad things. It’s that simple. You are authoring the blogs with your behaviour everyday. Christians say Do NOT do in the darkness… what you would not do in the light… Wise Christians. The media spotlight you are entering is the light. People with nothing to hide seldom mind the camera, people hiding darkness shy away from the light.

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Crewing for Captain Lexi specifically…

I am unsure how I am failing to be abundantly clear on this one, and still crew violate this. So please hear me when I say this…. Loud and clearly…

100% NO SMOKERS… NO SMOKING… NO VAPING… NO NICOTINE ADDICTS OF ANY KIND VERSION OR FORM ALLOWED. SMOKERS DO NOT APPLY. This is my personal line and choice, and I am allowed to have this opinion in my home.

100% NO DRUG USERS OR DRUG ADDICTS OR ALCOHOLICS ALLOWED If you need to wake and bake to get thru your day, or need alcohol everyday to function, or need THC or hash or cocaine to feel happy or good…. I will not tolerate this in my home at all, not even a little bit, not even if; you only do it onshore. I do not need, want or trust the brains or thinking of the addict brain. Addicts always think it’s ok, always think it doesn’t affect them or show, always lie about it. I need my crew at 100% when we are sailing, I need to be able to trust you. I get lots of people who think sailing high is ok, but it makes you stupid and dangerous to me. You do not get to risk my boat or life forcing this upon me, it is a risk I am allowed to choose not to take with you.

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Say what you mean… Mean what you say

I am socially stupid, I am very well mannered but terrible at polite deceitful words. I am very open honest genuine and direct, blunt. I cannot understand polite language, I will not get the hint, I will not read between your lines, I will not read your mind. I do not understand double entendres, or sexual innuendo speech. I do not understand sarcasm.

She-Sheldon needs you to be direct, concise and clear with your words and language please. I am not trying to be naive, I really am, I really don’t know. Be genuine and you will make sense to me. Be manipulative and deceitful with your words and I will not be able to understand you. So many people are so disingenuous and manipulative now a days, I do not do well with these people. Please do not be this way.

***

Living with Captain Lexi…

I am very open about being broken and damaged, I make no secret of it. You have to accept it. There are 3 specific things you need to know before you come crew for me.

1/ I have a heart condition that makes me faint several times a day, you will see me pass out, a lot..!

2/ I have a weird twitchy seizure condition, you will see me doing weird little twitchy shivers randomly. At night it gets worse, and I can never take the helm between midnight to 4am, I will be in bed having seizures.

3/ I have PTSD… NEVER TOUCH CAPTAIN LEXI WHEN SHE IS SLEEPING..! I will freak the fuck out and it will be a bad scene fast. Child abuse and 2 rapes has rewired my brain to a base sleeping unconscious instinct to terror, instant terror, flight or fight, and I am well trained to fight. I can, have, and will attack when I’m startled or scared, often while still asleep. Please do not trigger me.

***

Dancing…

Being the Captain is very stressful, it is very hard on my soft sensitive soul, and sometimes, I need a break from it. I have developed over the years, my own personal escape from the jacket or eternal stress and responsibility of being the captain…

I need to dance naked under the stars at night on the bow of the yacht and vent my stress out of my soul into the universe, it’s healing for me.

So at some point, when the anchorage is calm enough, and I can feel my internal stress building, I will just tell you “I am off Duty now” and I will go alone in the dark up on deck with my bluetooth speaker. Give me this space and accept it, try not to disturb my ritual and try not to bother me for this hour I need to recover, unless there is danger to the yacht.

***

I know that what I have written above is quite blunt, very direct, and maybe a little bit intimidating. Please stay calm, if you are a good person I will be amazingly kind to you and everything will be great. Most of the above is for the unkind and crazy people out there posing as crew, lots of bad people in the world have found and hurt me, just don’t be one of them.

To help you get another perspective I have asked my crew Miss Daisy, the best crew I ever had, to write a few words about her experience crewing for me for 3 months.

To read her unedited words CLICK HERE for a first person assessment of what to expect living with me, crewing for me, adventuring with me.

For the Selected Few…

If you are reading this because I have asked to come crew for me, congratulations. This will not be boring, you are about to have a very interesting adventure. You are likely embarking on a very exciting adventure with a very memorable character, Wild Captain Lexi. Your time onboard will be nothing if not memorable, and you will likely learn a lot.

Everyone says I am intimidating when they first meet me. After a while you will find I am an amazing human being, very soft sweet and gentle, usually rather mellow, easy to live with, very kind despite being rough around the edges, and an amazing teacher. My soul is just full of white light, I am an amazing human being and you are in safe hands.

I am just unsure if I am safe in your hands?

I am trying to avert future bad crew before they get to hurt me on my yacht. Please understand my caution trying to weed out the bad people.

***

For interesting stories about bad crew, feel free to dig into these old blog stories for real life examples.

Crew Brendan got kicked out CLICK HERE

Crew Victoria got removed by the police CLICK HERE

Crew crazy Ivan the wildly racist sociopath CLICK HERE

Cheers….